


As Any Scholar Will Tell You, The Technical Term is Crack Timeline

by viridianmasquerade



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, F/M, Fluff, Weird Fluff, hella crack no joke but it's funny so whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 17:17:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1109474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viridianmasquerade/pseuds/viridianmasquerade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Given an infinite number of universes, isn't it possible that there is one, just one, where Roxy and Gamzee could be fluff?</p>
            </blockquote>





	As Any Scholar Will Tell You, The Technical Term is Crack Timeline

Given the fact that anything is possible in paradox space, and given the infinite number of Gamzee Makaras in an equally infinite number of dead and doomed timelines, it was inevitable that eventually, in some obscure timeline in some dusty corner on the very wrong side of reality's metaphorical tracks, one of them, sopor-stoned and spoiled sweet by an unusually attentive Goatdad, would fall in love with Roxy Lalonde.

Most of the rest of reality tries to quietly toe this timeline under the rug; 99.9% of Gamzee Makara instances are, were, have been or will be, ruthlessly murderous religious madmen, after all, so where the hell did this one get off falling in love with a cute human girl who, inexplicably, no, inexcusably, loved him back? 

Scholars of the strangeness of paradox space refer to this kind of utterly out-of-line offshoot universe as a crack timeline, and that is the technical term, thank you very much.

But I guess you want to hear about people holding hands.

It happened like this:

He slept through SGRUB - literally slept, which was unusual for surviving SGRUB players but entirely consistent for Gamzees across time and space - and came out the other side sad and confused. His world and his goatdad were gone, his friends were gods; gods who, fortuitously, had remembered how to alchemize sopor slime but still gods, and he was not. 

Alone, a hapless idiot mortal among gods who had once been friends, he watched their subjects build their own game, and watched them reset their universe, and then he saw _her_.

 _Her_ , in italics. In bold, even. **Her**. _**Her**_. Yes. Like that. _**Her**_.

He found his way into her universe; god bless Nepeta, Rogue of Heart, who could steal anything in the name of love and so she stole him a Skaian meteor to ride to Earth. 99.9% of timelines are shaking their head now because hello, he kills her, he always kills her and what is she doing helping him out here? But they don't call it a crack timeline for nothing.

He gets to Earth and he finds her and he knocks at her door (because he may be a hapless idiot mortal but he does have basic manners this time around because as everyone knows, goatfish are the most polite of beasts) and she answers and it's like waking up for the first time, except with fireworks.

Roxy Lalonde, to her credit, does not flee screaming when she sees him, because the Condesce being the empress-for-eternity of Earth with the Insane Clown Posse as her faithful servants et cetera is still a thing and so she knows what a troll is and she knows what a juggalo is (scholars are still debating which aspect of his being should have frightened her more, with most leaning towards juggalo but a few holdouts, generally dismissed as cranks, posit that aliens ought to be more frightening than rap clowns; they are wrong). 

She is moved by his manners and soft strange slang (he says motherfucker every three words but with such a paucity of crude intent as to render it almost a sigh) and perhaps just a touch by the martini she has just downed, although less so than you would imagine. They play video games, and he is terrible, but he does not mind, because he is in _**her**_ company. 

Eventually he says he wants to just sit and watch her play something and he really and truly does, because he can't concentrate with her next to him anyway, and during a cutscene, she takes one hand off her controller and sets it, very gently, on the couch, so she is just touching the tips of his fingers where they rest on the cushion.

She does it again during the next one, and the next, and the time after that he slides his hand just a little bit so it is almost sort of a little bit on top of hers and her fingers move, they move of their own accord and they twine into his and squeeze, just gently. They don't look at each other. Not yet.

They will, but that's a story about kissing and this is a story about holding hands.

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't find a way to make Gamzee/Roxy fluff work and the prompt was really open-ended so I wrote a fic that is fifty percent composed of justifying the existence of a universe where this ship could work as fluff and I may have had slightly too much fun.


End file.
